Can you realistically have a healthy relationship when you work (or are a CEO) for a startup?
Everyone wants to work for a startup or start their own business, and I don’t blame them.
However, they say that entrepreneurs are the “new” doctors (please take that statement lightly). Entrepreneurs work 24/7 and do not have time for anything, especially, relationships.
Many of us (in the startup world) are very satisfied with our jobs because we can truly dedicate our time and energy to our dreams.
Startups are changing the way we act towards relationships because now, we are all our own bosses and have freedom to make our own schedules.
But, how come we can’t seem to manage our personal life?
We are more consumed in our jobs than our lives.
Which begs the question, what does it take to succeed in a relationship when working for a startup?
So, in New York’s tech hub, I decided to ask around and hear what NYC has got to say.
Everyone I spoke to works in a startup or has started their own startup.
Let’s jump right into it.
What does it take to succeed in a relationship when working for a startup?
Marcos (CEO of Silabe):I used to work weekends and at one point I noticed that I didn’t have time for anything else. So, I made a deal with myself that I’m not going to work on the weekends anymore. I will dedicate my weekends for going out, watching Netflix and seeing friends.
After making this deal with myself, I only then saw that I now could invest in my relationship properly. I realized I now had real quality time to spend with the person I cared most about. I didn’t have this before. By doing this you appreciate each other. It doesn’t matter what you end up doing, whether it’s cooking or watching TV but now it’s much more valuable and enjoyable.
When you date someone for a long time it’s so easy to take things for granted and to only focus on exciting events happening around you. Don’t take your relationship for granted and value your time together.
Kelly (Writer and Editor at Visit.org): It’s easy to not want to date when working for a startup. I’m more willing to put in more of my time in this startup rather than this other job I have (which isn’t a startup). I’m very comfortable with my job and I don’t feel the need to date. I love my job and where I am. I feel complete and satisfied with my life while working for a startup. I’m not looking for others to make me happy.
Ricardo (CEO of Quantica): I think you have to keep in mind when you say “I’m sorry I don’t have time for this” you are actually saying “I’m sorry you’re not important”.
Everything, in the end, is how you manage your priorities and you have to decide what is most important. It can be frustrating because at least for my work is very important and is an essential part of who I am. It’s important to manage expectations in your relationship.
Amanda (CEO of Shray Skincare):It’s very important to be in stable in a relationship when in a startup. Especially, when you are a founder.
My emotions vary day by day as an owner of a company.
As my career fluctuates I want something stable. When my relationship is stable it helps me when to manage my business. My relationship is important to me because it holds me up and supports me through this entrepreneurial journey. You have someone to talk to who can give you advice and support. I have more motivation and energy to focus on my business when I have someone I can count on. I want all or nothing.
Tim (CEO of Cartful Solutions): I think it’s really important to understand that working at a startup, and particularly founding a startup, takes a huge amount of time and energy. From the minute you wake up, until the minute you go to bed, you’re working on your company. When you’re not working on your company, you’re probably thinking about your company.
That means that your decision to join or start a startup really has to be a joint decision. It’s going to affect both of you. If I didn’t have the support and encouragement of my wife from the very beginning, I know I wouldn’t have been able to get this far.
So, my advice would be to understand that working at a startup has an impact on those around you. Be aware of it and be appreciative that your partner is likely making a lot of sacrifices so you can pursue your dream.
Rajvi (Content Manager at visit.org): Startups are growing all the time and you become an important part of the team because you do a ton of jobs and have many responsibilities. When a team is small you are a crucial component. I’m always aware of my job and I have noticed that I am more careful when I go out because anything can happen and I care about what happens.
I feel like I am attached to my laptop or phone but not because I don’t like my job it’s because I care and truly enjoy what I do. I feel guilty when I leave the laptop or phone alone because I want to be there for my job. I’m not a relationship person so startups are great for me because I can focus on what I want.
Diran (Business Development at Diners Code): I feel like everybody is trying to work for a startup. And, people do not understand that (the startup) life is completely different (than what they are used to). To succeed in a relationship it all comes down to finding someone who has the same vision as you, understands the startup world and what comes with it. There’s a lot of sacrifices. If your partner does not understand then they will not respect you and then it all goes downhill from there, right?
It’s going to take a person that has a lot of understanding because you won’t be able to do everything you want for them. It all ties back to sacrifice. Dates will get postponed (unintentionally) and business will come first.
That someone has to be okay with going through the ups and downs because you are building something.
Until my next adventure.
See you soon, Gab 😉